Self reflection

The incessant noise of whinging in my head is annoying.

he nagging voice that is constantly complaining about how things are and how they should be. The unreasonable voice of ungratefulness. The lying voice of doubt. It never stops. It loves to put me down. Or would love to make me the king of the world. Both lies. It never wants to be just another human living amongst others. It is either above or below. Never just settled to what is now. Never stable. As I said, they are all just lies. The noisy neighbour in our heads. It never goes away.

Although if I ignore it, after a while, I don’t notice it anymore. Not that it goes away. I just don’t notice it anymore because I am doing my own thing. Because I am so engaged with the flow of curiosity and inspiration.

As somebody who has always loved creative expression and have struggled with self doubt, self loathing and fear of fully expressing what comes up, I have arrived at a very interesting place in my life. I am very aware of the the resistance noise in my head. I am very familiar with it. After all I have listened to it a lot throughout my life. But I recognise that it is just basically a pathological lier. It never speaks truth. The best I can do is to ignore it. Otherwise it would never let me be creative and do my thing.

It is a shapshifting, annoyingly persistent motherfucker. The best way to treat it. Just ignore it. Funny enough, even right now that I am writing this is telling me why it is totally a bad idea to think these thoughts, write about it and even worst share it with the world. See, I am telling you, it never stops. But doesn’t matter, because once you recognise and practice ignoring, it looses its power.

When I took this photos I was a total believer in that voice and was listing to everything that was saying. I was depressed under its thumb. So it feels good to share that moment now that I am on the other side.

Also, you should know, so far for me, this has been a daily practice. Ignore the motherfucker and just focus on your curiosity and inspiration. Focus on what you are building, making and cooking. That voice would never say anything useful. You would find all the answers through the doing. Keep following the light, keep making and enjoy the process. The answers would be revealed as you go forward.

This story was originally posted on my website at: https://nasergivechi.com/blog/self-reflection/

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Mostafa Nasergivechi

Multidisciplinary Artist & Designer, capitalising on curiosity & craft, selling digital products & original artworks. https://nasergivechi.com/